like a lone wolf...
Wednesday, March 30, 2005

I guess I am really a loner... this online test proves it even more...

Lone Wolf
You'd turn into a lone wolf! Like a lone wolf you
can coup perfectly well by yourself and do not
feel the need for others company. However like
a wolf you were once part of a pack and you can
tolerate and get along okay with people when
met with them. You are protective and loyal to
the close friends you have but, will always be
a true loner at heart

What animal would you turn into?
brought to you by Quizilla

the horoscope must be really true...

p.s. who's the anonymous b**t**d who commented something there? >_<

*update* apparently the link to my nanyang chronicle enty can be found here. and not only my site, but others that mention something about the chronicks... geee, talking about being so paranoid... i mean, monitoring other people's opinions of the chronicks? with technorati? what's more pathetic than that? oh come on, seriously? @_@

1:01 AM | 1 comments

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

On my way back to my room after my literature class, I noticed that a new edition of Nanyang Chronicle was already out so I grabbed one copy and rushed back home. With a bland cappuccino on one hand, and my mp3 player hanging on my neck, I browsed through the paper as I continue my journey back...

Headline: Minester urges youths to tackle issues... hmmm, interesting. More news: PEARLS gone after two years... what the hell is PEARLS?...Fiesta Style open house... so this is how they define fiesta style, great!... more news, crappy stories, and gosh, they call these opinions??? Seriously guys. And you're communications students for god sakes... But the true horror came when I reached the "paper back"... No, it was not because of the advertisement from a business card maker... it was my HOROSCOPE... neee... ok it was a really over the top intro but my horoscope is abnormally and shockingly true.

VIRGO Aug 23- Sep 22

Face life bravely and look beyond personal gains.
Friends who are not so friendly may drift away,
and you could find yourself standing alone
in the pursuit of your destiny.
Put in more effort and avoid procrastination.

Well, I don't really believe in horoscopes. But sometimes they just work. Maybe this is a wake up call to me to finally change some of my perceptions towards some things that I am currently dealing with. Things not happen by chance, and as crappy as it may sound, I'm glad that I grabbed that copy. On this note, that I will end this entry and start doing real work. But maybe another game of starcraft won't hurt...

6:29 PM | 3 comments

This is NOT a public apology
Saturday, March 19, 2005

Less than an hour after my last update here I am again writing. A lot of things can happen in an hour, eh? I'm suppose to sleep soon but I feel that this entry could not wait any longer. This is not supposed to be an apology.

Some people are actually reacting to what I've written before. Apparently the things I wrote are "insinuating" that ntu-pinoys have "walang respect or whatever or hindi nagsusupport ng kapwa pinoy". And that "insensitive and selfish pa daw ang hindi nakapunta. tsaka hindi totoong friend... "

Violent reactions....really...

Una sa lahat hindi ko sinabi na ang mga hindi nakapunta para magpakita ng suporta kay joyce ay "insensitive and selfish." And sinabi ko ay madalas tayong maging selfish at insensitive sa pakiramdam ng ibang tao. Take note, I used "we", "tayo" so I guess I'm also guilty about this. Hindi ko rin sinabi na walang respect ang mga tao at hindi marunong magsuporta. Ang sinabi ko ay nalulungkot ako kapag nagkulang tayo sa pagsuporta sa kapwa natin ntu-pinoy. At saka diba if you fail to show any support to someone close to you, di ba kakulangan ng respeto yun???

Isa pa, sinabi ko na kung busy ako at maraming ginagawa malamang hindi ako makakapunta. so that means I understand those people who are truly busy and don;t have time for anything else. at yung entry na yun ay para sa mga guilting tao na may oras naman para maglakwatsa.

Sinulat ko ang entry na yun, na hindi lang ang talentime ang basehan. marami pang events sa past na nag-accumulate na. at yung time na yun hindi ko na talaga makayanan kaya sumulat ako... I also doubt that those people whom I intended to address don't bother to read my blog anyway, they don't bother to care nga diba? so jussy di ka kasama dun.

Eto din, sa mga taong sinulat na ang mga naramdaman nila, hindi mo na kailangang mag-sorry. It defeats the purpose of writing an online blog eh. Parang nawalan ka naman ng paninindigan nyan eh. Kung alam mong tama ka, bakit ka hihingi ng tawad. Kung alam mong mali ka, eh di magpaka-humble ka. Call this pride or whatever, but sometimes you have to stick firmly on what you believe in and truly feel. Wag nyo ring i-delete ang mga sinulat nyo kasi that means duwag kayo at takot sa mga reactions ng mga makakabasa. Thanks also for bothering to reply through your blogs.

Sige, dito nalang. Mamya may malabuan na naman sa mga sinabi ko.


nung talentime ni joyce, meron akong make-up quiz kinabukasan, at di pa ko nakapag-aaral nung mga oras na yun. di ko sinabi dati kasi baka sabhin nagpapapansin lang ako... wala lang, dapat malinaw daw eh...

12:58 AM | 0 comments

of EXAMS and NONSENSE writings

As I write this entry now, I have about 24 days before the exam period starts. And tomorrow I decided that I would start to become a student, at last. So this means I have one week longer to prepare compared to last semester. My last sem's results sucks so I have to get a hold of myself this time. I have to improve my grades or else I'm no longer writing these stupid entries... That would be very bad, so I really really really have to do my best! So that means, I'll be writing less in the next few days. Heck, as if I'm writing a lot before... so that means, less than 1 entry a month... haha

Anyway this is my exam schedule next month:

13 April - Environmental Management
14 April - AC Circuits and Machines
19 April - Semiconductor Fundamentals
21 April - Digital Electronics
26 April - Engineering Mathematics II
28 April - Principles of Economics
29 April - Engineering Fiction: Technology in Literature and Film

This sem is kinda heavy, yet I'm still slacking a lot. I hope I could really catch up. hahaha... I have to be more serious in my studies, at least for this coming exam period. Waaah, I'm really not in the mood to write well so excuse me for all these crap... Goodbye for now before I write more nonsense things here. I'm just wasting bloggers bandwidth....

12:13 AM | 0 comments

hay, kainis...
Sunday, March 13, 2005

life works in an unpredictable way... amp naman. kung kailan akala mo na yun na, biglang hindi naman pala. amp talaga. nakakainis. si Lord talaga minsan magulo... makulit din. kaya si Lord ay cool!

10:47 AM | 0 comments

more rants
Saturday, March 12, 2005

read this ===> clickies

12:07 AM | 0 comments

a little respect
Thursday, March 10, 2005

Living abroad, can be very difficult especially when you are away from your family and you loved ones. You don't expect your mother to fix your clothes and prepare your food for you. You can't have your father pat you on your shoulder and ask "how are you". Worst of all is you have to deal with conflicts and problems coming into your life by yourself most of the time. Basically we are walking in an unknown path without any guide but perhaps only God's intervention. But sometimes these burdens become too much to handle so we look for people who can assist us in times of trouble. As human beings, it is our instict to look for others, be a part of a social niche, or belong to a circle of friends. In the end, this group of people creates a special bonds with each other's heart. And somehow these people are no longer just people, but family.

I feel bad everytime I see Filipinos here in my school fail to show any support to their own countrymen. Until now I can't find the reason why most of the time we tend to become a little bit selfish and insensitive to what other people might feel. Take this evening as an example. Joycie, one of our Pinoy seniors, was in a singing contest. It might not be the Singapore Idol, yet a competition like that could bring tons of stress to a person. And yet, only 4 Pinoys showed up to watch her, not even half of the population. But the point is, there's only a few of us here and the best option for us is nothing but support each other and just be there no matter what.

It's just too bad for me. I thought we are family here. Three years might be too short for a strong friendship to be formed. But I believe that this number is still worth more than an "unfinished tutorial". Joycie is in her final year, this is the last time she could join her hall's talent time. I think it is just right to give her a bit of our prcious time. A little respect for our "lola" is just a simple way of thanking her for being an important part of our lives. After all, it is very easy of us to waste time slacking. Well if I'm always studying and doing work and busy all the time, I might have a good reason not to go... but I'm not. So I'll be guilty if I didn't watch her perform. Well I guess people are just too busy to care.

So next time someone else or even myself is having a competition, or a birthday, or just any other crap, I won't expect my "friend" showing any kind of support... maybe some... well a little respect will do.

1:05 AM | 1 comments

congrats lola!!!!

First of all, I would like to congratulate a good friend of mine, our NTU-"lola" (grandma) joycie for doing doing a wonderful job in Hall 5's talent time! She won 2nd place in the singing competition and it was great! I wish I also joined it, coz the other contestanst are well... not so good, and I believe I could also win! hahaha (these are some confidence in here... ) naah.. I wouldn't have the guts, maybe yes but.. anyway, this paragraph is for my friend and again kudos to you, joycie!!!

12:54 AM | 0 comments

I want to sleep... and dream
Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Why? Why do I keep on hurting myself? Why am I still believing that one of these days, the thing that I've been wishing for will finally come true? Why am I constantly beating my heart with useless promises and giving my soul false hopes? Why am letting my personality to degrade to its lowest form? I feel like I'm in a quicksand and I'm alredy halfway down there, sinking every time I make a mistake in believing.

Am I being too pathetic? Am I being a perfectionist? Or am I going to be the root of my own despairs and solitudes? Making sense? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like things don't make sense at all, that I dont make sense at all. Sometimes I don't wanna think anymore.

Would I be thoroughly lost in these forever moving universe? Or someone would come and lift me up from the abyss I've fallen into.

But then again, it might not happen. It might not come true. All these dreams are just dreams after all. Entities, they are just products of the subconscious and can never be part of reality.

I want to sleep.

12:58 AM | 0 comments

Random thoughts
Tuesday, March 08, 2005

I love my new template. This posts sucks. I dont wanna study. I just want to sleep. Sometimes people assumes that I am ok. But I am not. Something is really bothering me. I dont know why I am depressed in the fast few days. Lonelines, perhaps? Solitude... despair. I wanna run. I wanna escape. I wish I could. This place kinda sucks. Though I'm not complaining, I wish things could be a little differrent. Am I antisocial? and what's wrong with listening to your mp3 player and not talking? I saw a couple sitting in front of me in the shuttle bus this afternoon. I wish I also have one. Exams are coming. I hate exams. Sleep is good. and milk, too. Had some beer two nights ago. It was good. Got one more left in the fridge. But I prefer drinking yakult tonight. I didn't have coffee today, except for one cup I drank at 4 in the morning. Why am I such a slob? Why do I feel comfortable working at night? I hope it rains tomorrow. I love it when it rains. Things tend to be calmer.

10:10 PM | 0 comments

big time slacker
the eagle cries


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