Not that clean

Blah

2007-02-05T00:25:00.000+08:00

Have you ever had that day when you're sad and you don't have any idea how and why you became sad in the first place? The worse thing is you can't think of anything that would cheer yourself up so in the end you get more depressed and even sadder that everything around you sucks with no apparent reason at all!

And what a great way to revive a blog.

21 anyos sa Singapore

2006-08-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

Time really passes by so fast that we don't even notice it. I just turned 21 today meaning I already spent about a third of my life, but it seems only yesterday when I entered high school. While I'm officially legal in every part of the earth, which is something I have to look forward to, it's also an astonishing fact that I am no longer that naive, cutesy-looking(??) boy who just graduated elementary school. HIndi na ako "bunsoy" na matatawag. I just turned into a man, which is just another term for "another burden for the society".

Pabigat sa lipunan, langhiya. Haha.

Pero pabigat man o hindi, I think I've changed a lot. Maybe physically and personality I've martured a lot, though not matured enough to decide things for myself without seeking my family's advice or my friends's for that matter. But I did changed. And it's all good... and it's all bad. For one thing, getting older means having more responsibilities, more responsibilities means more chances to commit mistakes, and committing mistakes in an older age is not a good experience. At the same time, when we get older, we get to experience things that older people do (I don't exactly know what I'm talking about here) and we get to decide for ourselves. Our actions, our decisions, will make a big impact on what we are going to be, in the near future. The multiple possibilities, it's something to look forward to because it's exciting... and scary.

But I don't really have to worry because God has plans. I know that He would continute to guide me just like what He's been doing in the past 21 years. On top of that I consider myself lucky to have my family and friends ready to support me. I won't be able to survive these years without their love. And I really really thank them for that.

21 anyos sa Singapore? Di naman siguro mahirap. Sana. But whatever the future has installed for me, I would still face it. I don't really have a choice, do I? Anyways, God will only give me something He knows I could handle. So... bring it on world! Give me your best shot and I will give you mine!!!

Some logic

2005-09-17T22:36:00.000+08:00

I hate quitters.

I am a quitter.

I hate myself.

Feeling H.S.

2005-08-25T15:00:00.000+08:00

Feeling high school ako ngayon. At bakit naman? Ang bigat-bigat kasi ng backpack ko... @_@

p.s.

meron akong katabing dalawang "mainit na babaeng taga-Pransiya" (isa sa kanan, isa sa kaliwa) dito sa EEE i-Hub... sorry di ko pwedeng sabihin sa Ingles kasi baka mabasa nila... wahahaha... grabe, kumakabog ang dibdib ko... tugudug... tugudug...

Bday ko!

2005-08-24T09:03:00.000+08:00

Hi! Today is my birthday! And I just skipped my laboratory session this morning just to tell you. hehe. It's only a 1 A.U. module so no need to worry, just have to put more effort with my formal report to compensate with the one I just missed, I mean skipped. ^_^ (*fyi* I skipped 2 sessions last semester and still managed to get a B... lolz!). Besides, people who are celebrating their birthday are allowed to skip their lab session no questions asked!

Anyway, I'm just so blessed to have another year in this beautiful world. There were so many good things that happened to me as well as bad things. I'm just thankful that I was able to experience all these and managed to stay alive.

I'm grateful that I have friends who are always there to cheer me up everytime I'm down and troubled. Their presence and the support they always give me are things that I would always cherish and give importance with. I know there were times that I feel that our friendship may be too shallow and full of pretence but I was wrong. The kind of relationship we have now is very far from being shallow. And I thank you guys for it. (Thanks for the cake and the gift, I appreciate it a lot!)

I just wished that I can celebrate my birthday with my family. It's been 3 years since I last celebrated this special day with them. Even though my mother would only make her special "pansit" it doesn't matter coz what's important is that we were together. But I'm still thankful to God for always watching over my family. I know that someday I will be able to celebrate my birthday with them again.

I am looking forward for the days to come. They might not be as smooth as I want them to be but nevertheless I will still face them in full vigilance and zeal. Obstacles and barrier will put me down but not for long because I will rise up again stonger with wisdom through the presence of my friends, family and especially God.

Thank you Lord. Thank you Father.

haiz...

2005-08-22T02:44:00.000+08:00

lahat sila.. pare-pareho...

katulad ka din pala nya...

sayang... ^_^"

Jam and HOp at the QUAD

2005-08-20T17:30:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, if you feel you are in a corner and cannot escape, wait coz someone or something would come and save your ass.

Around 7.30 pm last night I was choosing between studying and slacking when I received a text message from Czarina, inviting me to go with her roomate in the Jam and Hop (it was a jam band competition) at the Quad. Since going there would be a very nice reason not to study, I decided to become a delinquent.

The competition was organized by NTU-Students Union and I was so excited because it was the first time I'm going to such event. AFter washing my face, and wearing a pair of jeans and a sleeveless shirt, I immediately left my room. While walking on north spine parking level, I can already hear some music playing (the competition must have started, I thought). The excitement made me walk faster. I wanted to see the crowd and join the fun already! And when I turned right towards the Quad, I was so surprised! There were quite a number of people, but much less than what I was expecting.... I later found Czarina and her roomate (forgot the name, sorry... ^_^) sitting on the 4th row).

If you're watching a jam band, isn't it better to enjoy the beat, clap you hands, and even jump around instead of just being sucked-ass whimps on their seat doing totally nothing???

I understand that most of the people there were just after the 3-dollar movie passes promised to be sold (which they did eventually) but at least show some interest to the performing groups. NTU students are so passive! Listening intently but remaining static during a band performance, for me is a big sin in the music world! These people even have the face to sit in front. What I mean is, if I am the band, I would appreciate it more if people show more interest to what I'm doing. And if the audience last night are more active, I guess everyone might have enjoyed the event more.

Anyway, another added attraction were the free booz! Yeah baby! Free beer c/o Singapore's tiger bear, which I never really liked by the way (San Ming/Red horse, still the best!). Sadly I didn't even go for one battle coz I havent eaten anything for dinner aside from the french fries Czarina gave me (binigay nya rin sa kin yung initial d shirt na kasama nung goodie bad na napanalunan nya! yey! bait talaga ni charing!). Too bad, eh? Especially if you see people around you slurping on free drinks which only happens in a million years in NTU. But oh, well, at lest I had my free fries! hehehe

If you dont know the band playing, and tring to figure out why the hell you are there, just relax and enjoy the music, go with the flow, and you'll feel great about it.

The best part of the night, I must say, was when Electric, a local band in Singapore, performed and brought the event's climax. At first I didn't know who the hell is electric. I even learned that they are a local band from the announcements of NTUSU. But man, they rock! They really rocked the house! Who says Singaporean can't excel in music? Wel truly this is an exemption. Electric! I'm trying to compare them with other bands (pinoy bands, hehe) and they are of the same caliber with Eraserheads and even Wolfgang! I especially like the keyboardist coz she's so pretty! hehehehe... But how come I didnt know that such band exist here in Singapore? Maybe I'll try to lower my ego and start to know the local music scene, eh? Well, probably... Sana makabili ko ng album nila.. haha...

The program ended around 10.30 after announcing the winner. The Malay group, which I think should have won it, didn't even manged to land in 3rd place. Hall 15 Jam Band, won the first price. I guess that will happen if you bring a lot of friends in a popularity contest.

Said goodbye to czarina and her roomate then went to McDonalds at Canteen A. Glad they were still open that time. Bought my favorite, quarter pounder with cheese meal and walked back to my hostel...

I was so tired that I went to bed right after I've eaten. What a pig... (of course I brushed my teeth... ^_^)

Prof na mukhang ewan...

2005-08-19T00:24:00.000+08:00

Mukhang ewan kanina yung lecturer sa project lab ko (Java and Internet Programming). Kung anu-ano ang pinagsasasabi. Joke ng joke, di ko naman siya maintindihan. Define ng define ng mga acronyms tulad ng HTTP, FTP, POP, etc. mali-mali naman ang definitions nya. Ang hina pa magsalita, paano ba naman, ang layo ng mike sa bibig nya kaya halos walang lumalabas na boses nya sa mga speakers sa loob ng lecture theater. Biruin mo, 3 hrs ang lecture nya eh halos kalahati nun napunta lang sa mga walng kwenta nyang "anecdotes" at personal "kwentos". Kaya ayun, wala akong naintindihan sa kanya. Babasahin ko na lang ang lecture notes sa weekend kung may time pa ko.

Eh pano na next week? Mukhang mahirap pa naman ang laboratory na to. Tapos formal report ko pa ... nyahaa... paano ako makakasulat ng report kung hindi ko maintindihan. Pero sabi naman ng lab partner ko, tutulungan nya daw ako. Ang bait nya! Nakakahiya tuloy kasi halos wala akong naitulong sa kanya sa last project lab namin (Microprocessors) kundi ang magkabit-kabit ng mga wires nung ISA adpater na kailangan namin. Pero ok lang, sa panahon ngayon di na kailangan ang hiya hiya!!! (--,)

BUkas union day. WAlang pasok from 11.30am-3.30pm. Yey! That means I dont have to go to 2 of my classes (1 lecture, 1 tutorial). Yey ulit! Tapos may libre pang lunch c/o McDonalds bukas. Sana di ako maubusan! hehehe... Tapos may libreng beer from 8pm-10.30 pm! Todo na to! Siyet... sana masaya bukas! Pwede daw magyaya ng isang friend (which I suppose isn;t an NTU student) at pati siya bibigyan ng libreng beer! Wow grabe! Ano kaya ang nainum ng main comm ng Students Union at naisipan nilang magbigay ng libreng beer? May banda rin daw bukas. Kaso mas trip ko sana kung Parokya or MYMP ang tutugtog... mangarap daw ba???

Rainy days

2005-08-17T17:16:00.000+08:00

Tired. I don't know the reason why I'm always tired these days. I'm just always tired. You won't see me doing any heavy work, I don't even go to the gym or something. Maybe that's it, I don't exercise that's why I don't feel any energy in me. Or it could be anything else. I hate feeling like this, coz I become less productive.

Anyway, it is raining outside right now. My type of weather. Rainy days make me relax. I can also be sentimental if it rains. It's also a nice time to cuddle with someone or something if that "someone" is not available (pillows in my case). Somebody said this before (I can't really remember who): "I want to be the rain that brings together the heavens and the earth, which in eternity would never be connected." I wish I could be that "I".

A lot of things are happening around me these days. I wonder what would happen next. Well, whatever it might be the outcome of these things, I care no more.

STAY

2005-08-09T21:42:00.000+08:00

STAY
by Cueshe

I believe
We shouldnt let the moment pass us by
Life's too short
We shouldnt wait for the water to run dry

Think about it
Cause we only have one shot at destiny
All im asking
Could it possibly be you and me?

So if you'd still go, i'll understand
Would you give me something just to hold on to?
And if you'll stay, ill hold your hand
Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

Time has come
For us to go our separate ways
God forbid
But my mind is going crazy today

I feel so cold
Feel so numb
Im having nightmares but im awake
Help me lord
Fight this loneliness
Take this pain away

So if you'd still go, i'll understand
Would you give me something just to hold on to?
And if you'll stay, ill hold your hand
Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

Now that you're gone, im all alone
Im still hoping that you would come back home
Dont care how long, but im willing to wait
Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

T.G.I.S

2005-08-08T23:27:00.001+08:00

Last saturday was such a day to remember - NTU-Pinoys beach gathering at Sentosa!

Since it's just the second week of class and everyone is not that busy yet, we decided to head for the beach. You know, just to hang around, learn about each other more, and also to welcome the new batch of scholars (finally after 2 years) from the Philippines! Sunday was Wesley's 20th birthday (yuck tanda mo na!) so we sort of celebrated that as well.

The weather was just great - warm and sunny! Perfect day to enjoy the sand and cold sea water! We ate a lot, played a lot, swam a lot, and ate some more and yet we didn't manage to finish everything. Joyce made some calamares, I and the kids cooked some lumpiang shanghai, some brought chicken adobo, shrimps, and roasted chicken! Even the thought of those still makes my mouth water.

Cameras were everywhere! After all, meeting up like this is as rare as a diamond. naks! Too bad, some of the juniors didn't come and just studied all day instead... such bummers... pero kung saan sila masaya, eh di fine...

Anyway, we stayed in the beach until 5pm then we started cleaning up and packing up our things. The sun was about to set, and not a single camera loving person would miss that opportunity to have some great shots. So we went to this small island through a hanging bridge, climbed up a sort of a wooden tower, and there we had the best view we could have. You can see the distant islands, the large ships and boats, and the big ocean extending in the horizon. And I just thought, how beatiful this world is, and the One who created all of it.

Afterwards, some people went home already, but some of us stayed for the Musical fountain. Damn, I was so glad that I stayed. I already forgot how the musical fountain could be that enticing! It was truly magical. I was smilling, no, grinning throughout the show and I felt like all my worries, my weariness vanished together with the water..

And yet, everything must end. It was time to call it a day. I slept on the bus on the way back to Boonlay. I was tired, yet I was glad. Well in fact, I still am. Thank God it was Sabado.

p.s.

pictures will come later

Teasing butt

2005-08-08T17:42:00.000+08:00

I was on my way to the canteen, walking straightforward while in deep thoughts on what to eat later when suddenly, I found myself staring at the biggest pair of butt my had ever laid upon in my entire life. Ok, I've seen big butts before (including mine) but at least they are proportional to the body of the owner. This pair was different as it was really sticking out, teasing anyone that sees them, "dude I'm a butt. Come and grab me". Woooh! Grabe! Yeaaah! Tambok talaga. Unfortunately the owner was a guy.

I had cheese prata afterwards.

Life is like microprocessors

2005-07-31T23:38:00.000+08:00

Damn, I can't even think of a proper intro. So I guess I'll just go straight to the point.

I've been thinking a lot lately, about my life. Reassessing myself, pondering about my purpose in this world, and I found out that it is as complicated as the Micropressor Applications lab manual I've been trying to understand for the last hour. Well nobody in this world may have the clearest idea of their purpose in life, but at least most of them got this small picture.

The reason why I'm saying this is because I find that I'm not leading to anywhere. There might be a lot of things that I wanted to do, events that I yearn to be a part of, yet I always end up empty handed, bored and unsatisfied. I'm a typical pinoy with a "ningas-kugon" attitude, magaling lang sa simula. But in the end I'm just another loser.

I can sing, dance, act. You can flatter me by calling me multi-talented. But the point is I've never excelled to any of these three, I'm only good, not excellent.

I wanted to excel on something, whether it might be on arts or science. I wanted to leave a mark that would remind people that I did well on something. That something doesnt necessarily be big, I just dont want to face God as a mediocre and an average person. I wanted to show Him that all the talents that He gave me are utilized for the best purpose and become a testament to His gloriousness.

I might be at loss right now, but I know that God will shine His light upon my path and will lead me to whatever plan he has set upon me. It might be different from the vague shadow I have now, but whatever it might be I know it would be only for the best.

hay kapoy.....

2005-07-20T00:28:00.000+08:00

@_@

dedications...

2005-07-17T23:18:00.000+08:00

Untitled
by Simple Plan

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

back to SG

2005-07-17T21:58:00.000+08:00

It's been 4 weeks and now I'm back in Singapore. Back to the linear and fast lifestyle, to the busy and loaded school stuffs, back to a cage-like environment that I'm happy to escape from. If I had the choice I wont be coming back here. I would rather just stay with my family and friends back home in spite of the chaos and instability that my country is facing today. And I really dont have the choice but only to go back and continue my studies here in SG. After all I was the one who "ultimately" decided to accept this scholarship.

Time really passes by so quickly that sometimes we dont even remember what just happened. It seems only yesterday when the immigration officer in Changi airport stamped the 30 day visiting pass on my passport, when I first entered my bridging class, and now I'll be starting the next school year as a junior student. A fact that I'm not really looking forward into.

My first three years in Singapore (including my bridging year) haven't been that great academic-wise. If I always excel in everything I do during my high school years, now I'm just an ordinary university student who gets average grades and even failed his maths. And I somewhat hated myself for that. I wanted to put the blame to someone or something so I can at least console myself and remind me that it's not my fault why I'm turning into a failure. But there's no one and nothing to blame except me.

I alredy made a promise to change for the better before. I wont be promising this time coz I dont want to hate myself if I failed to fulfill that promise. I wont set any expectations and marks but rather do my best to become a more responsible and mature person and try to more appreciative of the blessings that God has been giving me.

I'm back. I'm stuck to a place I dont wanna belong. I cant do anything about it. I dont have a choice but to make good things out of it. That's what I'm gonna do. That is.

Bakit?

2005-06-15T09:37:00.000+08:00

Why does it rain everytime I do my laundry?

Online test - the Keys to your Heart

2005-06-07T15:17:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

wala lang....

2005-05-06T15:55:00.000+08:00

pingalitan ako ng ate ko... hek hek... ok lang. malaki kasalanan ko eh...

today, walan namang ginawa sa lab... pumasok lang ako para maglog-in tapos balik na ulit sa kwarto. kailangan lang muna naming basahin ang mga notes about Electromagnetic Compatibility na binigay sa amin ni Shantamu. Ang akala ko mag-isa lang akong gagawa ng sub-project about EMC's... buti na lang may mabait na Vietnamese na nag-switch ng project nya at pinili ang project na napilit ko rin. Yung ibang group kasi apat silang gumagawa sa isang sub-project na dapat ay 2-3 people lang ang kailangan... unfair nga eh. pero ok lang at least may kasama pa rin ako... Ang pangalan pala ng Vietnamese ay Dung (prounounced as "Yunk") at meron siyang British accent, nakakaaliw...

Free man? naah....

2005-04-30T22:17:00.000+08:00

Exams are finally over but it seems that I'm experiencing more headaches now than before. First my internet connection is super lagged and the delays while typing these words are starting to annoy me. Second, my sisters credit card was rejected when I tried to use it to book a flight going to Manila and I cant seem to find any possible reason why I can't use it. Third, providing that I can find someone who is good enough to lend his/her credit card to me so I can book that f*cking ticket, I wont be able to come home after 5 more weeks. Fourth, I have to stay in school for 5 long (and most probably boring) weeks to do a troublesome project as a requirement for second year student like me. And if I fail it, I won't be able to do my Industrial Attachment next year which is gonna be a very big problem once i mess it up. Lastly, as much as I would like to celebrate coz exams are finally over, I cannot. How can I rejoice in all glory if instead of nailing the all my papers, I screwed them up? Now my anxieties are killing me and I'm somewhat losing my apetite and it's killing me. And I'm becoming dull and redundant....

Anyway, here are my reflections for the papers I just had.

Environmental Management

I gotta say the first exam of the semester is already crap. For a subject that requires a lot of memorization, I only memorized a few things including that stupid sound internstiy formula (which I already know since high school). I managed to answer all questions excpet for one where I don't really have a single idea how to approach it. I later found out that the answers to the question are so simple making me feel like a cow. It's a good thing that this is only a General paper so my grade wont affect my honors potential (if there is any). I just have to pass it.

My verdict: Passable

AC Circuits and Machines

This followed the day right after my EM paper. Afte taking this exam, I knew at once that I can not go and specialize with power engineering. The paper is just damn hard! I manage to anwer all questions but I just answered them for the sake of answering them, if you know what I mean. On a positve note, almost everyone found the questions are extremely difficult (so I'm not that dumb after all) meaning I still have a chance to get an average grade.

My verdict: D-C with a possibility to repeat

Semiconductor Fundamentals

The paper turned out to be less difficult than expected, yet I didn;t managed to complete a 10 pt question due to time constraints. Semicon is also not my thing. Also the lecturer sounds like Bisaya which really has nothing to do with the subject but I just want to mention it anyway. paki mo ba?

My verdict: D-C

Digital Electonics

For a subject which I only attended two tutorials and several lecturers I'm already glad that I managed to finish 75% percent of the paper. I didnt finish a 25pt worth of questions though I manage to answer more than half of it so I hope I can get some incentives for that... This subject is very important to me since I'm planning to major in Digital Signals in my final year. So close your fingers with me guys!

My verdict: C

Engineering Mathematics

One hell of a crap.

My verdict: hahaha.

Principles of Economics

Isa pa to. Econs na nga lang papansin pa. Di ko nga pinasukan most of my class eh. I though I'm gonna die but this paper is one of the easiest. It's a good thing that my cramming paid off.

My verdict: can pass

Engineering Fiction: Technology in Literature and Film

It's literature. It's only writing. And everything depends on the lecturer if she finds what I wrote worthy of A or as crappy as F. So bless you miss lecturer.

My verdict: can pass

Well I just have to wait until next month before I face this nightmare. But before that I will try to relax a bit more, have fun and try to lose my virginity. Haha, the last is only a joke but I wont mind if that happens. Oh and anyone with credit card that I can use? I promise I will pay everything back... please please... onegai... twins... hahaha...la la la.... la.. la la...

Yey!!!

2005-04-11T05:10:00.000+08:00

Anniversay ng church namin kahapon! astig! merong musical! astig din! astig talaga! hehehe... ang galing ng casts! iba talaga kapag para kay Lord ang ginagawa mo... It is always the best!

Jeans Model - Wyldfire poses for billboards \m/

2005-04-04T02:17:00.000+08:00

If there is something that I love the most from the youth ministry(WIN-WYLDFIRE) I belong, it is the spontaineity of the group. I mean, crazy ideas can just pop anywhere, and before even knowing it, we are already doing stuffs that we wouldn't normally do in public...

For instance last Easter Sunday, while waiting for the bus going to Ate Cla's house we had several nice shots mimicking the Levi's jeans advertisement we see in the billboards. Man, it was so hilarious! It started with, u know, *casual* photos (who doesn't love photos?) and then we started making these poses and stance as if we are real models... heheh... i'm not even sure why we reached that point. It might be becoz we were still "fired-up" from the church service, or that we are too excited from the easter celebration we did later, or that we are simply dorks who love photos. But hey, a small dose of "good-fun" is actually good and can even make you thirst for better ones...

Anyway, these are some of the pics:

while waiting for the bus

While on the bus...

So who says waiting for the bus is boring?

like a lone wolf...

2005-03-30T01:01:00.000+08:00

I guess I am really a loner... this online test proves it even more...

You'd turn into a lone wolf! Like a lone wolf you
can coup perfectly well by yourself and do not
feel the need for others company. However like
a wolf you were once part of a pack and you can
tolerate and get along okay with people when
met with them. You are protective and loyal to
the close friends you have but, will always be
a true loner at heart

What animal would you turn into?
brought to you by Quizilla

the horoscope must be really true...

p.s. who's the anonymous b**t**d who commented something there? >_<

*update* apparently the link to my nanyang chronicle enty can be found here. and not only my site, but others that mention something about the chronicks... geee, talking about being so paranoid... i mean, monitoring other people's opinions of the chronicks? with technorati? what's more pathetic than that? oh come on, seriously? @_@

"avoid PROCRASTINATION..."

2005-03-29T18:29:00.000+08:00

On my way back to my room after my literature class, I noticed that a new edition of Nanyang Chronicle was already out so I grabbed one copy and rushed back home. With a bland cappuccino on one hand, and my mp3 player hanging on my neck, I browsed through the paper as I continue my journey back...

Headline: Minester urges youths to tackle issues... hmmm, interesting. More news: PEARLS gone after two years... what the hell is PEARLS?...Fiesta Style open house... so this is how they define fiesta style, great!... more news, crappy stories, and gosh, they call these opinions??? Seriously guys. And you're communications students for god sakes... But the true horror came when I reached the "paper back"... No, it was not because of the advertisement from a business card maker... it was my HOROSCOPE... neee... ok it was a really over the top intro but my horoscope is abnormally and shockingly true.

VIRGO Aug 23- Sep 22

Face life bravely and look beyond personal gains.
Friends who are not so friendly may drift away,
and you could find yourself standing alone
in the pursuit of your destiny.
Put in more effort and avoid procrastination.

Well, I don't really believe in horoscopes. But sometimes they just work. Maybe this is a wake up call to me to finally change some of my perceptions towards some things that I am currently dealing with. Things not happen by chance, and as crappy as it may sound, I'm glad that I grabbed that copy. On this note, that I will end this entry and start doing real work. But maybe another game of starcraft won't hurt...

This is NOT a public apology

2005-03-19T00:58:00.000+08:00

Less than an hour after my last update here I am again writing. A lot of things can happen in an hour, eh? I'm suppose to sleep soon but I feel that this entry could not wait any longer. This is not supposed to be an apology.

Some people are actually reacting to what I've written before. Apparently the things I wrote are "insinuating" that ntu-pinoys have "walang respect or whatever or hindi nagsusupport ng kapwa pinoy". And that "insensitive and selfish pa daw ang hindi nakapunta. tsaka hindi totoong friend... "

Violent reactions....really...

Una sa lahat hindi ko sinabi na ang mga hindi nakapunta para magpakita ng suporta kay joyce ay "insensitive and selfish." And sinabi ko ay madalas tayong maging selfish at insensitive sa pakiramdam ng ibang tao. Take note, I used "we", "tayo" so I guess I'm also guilty about this. Hindi ko rin sinabi na walang respect ang mga tao at hindi marunong magsuporta. Ang sinabi ko ay nalulungkot ako kapag nagkulang tayo sa pagsuporta sa kapwa natin ntu-pinoy. At saka diba if you fail to show any support to someone close to you, di ba kakulangan ng respeto yun???

Isa pa, sinabi ko na kung busy ako at maraming ginagawa malamang hindi ako makakapunta. so that means I understand those people who are truly busy and don;t have time for anything else. at yung entry na yun ay para sa mga guilting tao na may oras naman para maglakwatsa.

Sinulat ko ang entry na yun, na hindi lang ang talentime ang basehan. marami pang events sa past na nag-accumulate na. at yung time na yun hindi ko na talaga makayanan kaya sumulat ako... I also doubt that those people whom I intended to address don't bother to read my blog anyway, they don't bother to care nga diba? so jussy di ka kasama dun.

Eto din, sa mga taong sinulat na ang mga naramdaman nila, hindi mo na kailangang mag-sorry. It defeats the purpose of writing an online blog eh. Parang nawalan ka naman ng paninindigan nyan eh. Kung alam mong tama ka, bakit ka hihingi ng tawad. Kung alam mong mali ka, eh di magpaka-humble ka. Call this pride or whatever, but sometimes you have to stick firmly on what you believe in and truly feel. Wag nyo ring i-delete ang mga sinulat nyo kasi that means duwag kayo at takot sa mga reactions ng mga makakabasa. Thanks also for bothering to reply through your blogs.

Sige, dito nalang. Mamya may malabuan na naman sa mga sinabi ko.

p.s.

nung talentime ni joyce, meron akong make-up quiz kinabukasan, at di pa ko nakapag-aaral nung mga oras na yun. di ko sinabi dati kasi baka sabhin nagpapapansin lang ako... wala lang, dapat malinaw daw eh...

of EXAMS and NONSENSE writings

2005-03-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

As I write this entry now, I have about 24 days before the exam period starts. And tomorrow I decided that I would start to become a student, at last. So this means I have one week longer to prepare compared to last semester. My last sem's results sucks so I have to get a hold of myself this time. I have to improve my grades or else I'm no longer writing these stupid entries... That would be very bad, so I really really really have to do my best! So that means, I'll be writing less in the next few days. Heck, as if I'm writing a lot before... so that means, less than 1 entry a month... haha

Anyway this is my exam schedule next month:

13 April - Environmental Management
14 April - AC Circuits and Machines
19 April - Semiconductor Fundamentals
21 April - Digital Electronics
26 April - Engineering Mathematics II
28 April - Principles of Economics
29 April - Engineering Fiction: Technology in Literature and Film

This sem is kinda heavy, yet I'm still slacking a lot. I hope I could really catch up. hahaha... I have to be more serious in my studies, at least for this coming exam period. Waaah, I'm really not in the mood to write well so excuse me for all these crap... Goodbye for now before I write more nonsense things here. I'm just wasting bloggers bandwidth....

hay, kainis...

2005-03-13T10:47:00.000+08:00

life works in an unpredictable way... amp naman. kung kailan akala mo na yun na, biglang hindi naman pala. amp talaga. nakakainis. si Lord talaga minsan magulo... makulit din. kaya si Lord ay cool!

more rants

2005-03-12T00:07:00.000+08:00

read this ===> clickies

a little respect

2005-03-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

Living abroad, can be very difficult especially when you are away from your family and you loved ones. You don't expect your mother to fix your clothes and prepare your food for you. You can't have your father pat you on your shoulder and ask "how are you". Worst of all is you have to deal with conflicts and problems coming into your life by yourself most of the time. Basically we are walking in an unknown path without any guide but perhaps only God's intervention. But sometimes these burdens become too much to handle so we look for people who can assist us in times of trouble. As human beings, it is our instict to look for others, be a part of a social niche, or belong to a circle of friends. In the end, this group of people creates a special bonds with each other's heart. And somehow these people are no longer just people, but family.

I feel bad everytime I see Filipinos here in my school fail to show any support to their own countrymen. Until now I can't find the reason why most of the time we tend to become a little bit selfish and insensitive to what other people might feel. Take this evening as an example. Joycie, one of our Pinoy seniors, was in a singing contest. It might not be the Singapore Idol, yet a competition like that could bring tons of stress to a person. And yet, only 4 Pinoys showed up to watch her, not even half of the population. But the point is, there's only a few of us here and the best option for us is nothing but support each other and just be there no matter what.

It's just too bad for me. I thought we are family here. Three years might be too short for a strong friendship to be formed. But I believe that this number is still worth more than an "unfinished tutorial". Joycie is in her final year, this is the last time she could join her hall's talent time. I think it is just right to give her a bit of our prcious time. A little respect for our "lola" is just a simple way of thanking her for being an important part of our lives. After all, it is very easy of us to waste time slacking. Well if I'm always studying and doing work and busy all the time, I might have a good reason not to go... but I'm not. So I'll be guilty if I didn't watch her perform. Well I guess people are just too busy to care.

So next time someone else or even myself is having a competition, or a birthday, or just any other crap, I won't expect my "friend" showing any kind of support... maybe some... well a little respect will do.

congrats lola!!!!

2005-03-10T00:54:00.000+08:00

First of all, I would like to congratulate a good friend of mine, our NTU-"lola" (grandma) joycie for doing doing a wonderful job in Hall 5's talent time! She won 2nd place in the singing competition and it was great! I wish I also joined it, coz the other contestanst are well... not so good, and I believe I could also win! hahaha (these are some confidence in here... ) naah.. I wouldn't have the guts, maybe yes but.. anyway, this paragraph is for my friend and again kudos to you, joycie!!!

I want to sleep... and dream

2005-03-09T00:58:00.000+08:00

Why? Why do I keep on hurting myself? Why am I still believing that one of these days, the thing that I've been wishing for will finally come true? Why am I constantly beating my heart with useless promises and giving my soul false hopes? Why am letting my personality to degrade to its lowest form? I feel like I'm in a quicksand and I'm alredy halfway down there, sinking every time I make a mistake in believing.

Am I being too pathetic? Am I being a perfectionist? Or am I going to be the root of my own despairs and solitudes? Making sense? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like things don't make sense at all, that I dont make sense at all. Sometimes I don't wanna think anymore.

Would I be thoroughly lost in these forever moving universe? Or someone would come and lift me up from the abyss I've fallen into.

But then again, it might not happen. It might not come true. All these dreams are just dreams after all. Entities, they are just products of the subconscious and can never be part of reality.

I want to sleep.

Random thoughts

2005-03-08T22:10:00.000+08:00

I love my new template. This posts sucks. I dont wanna study. I just want to sleep. Sometimes people assumes that I am ok. But I am not. Something is really bothering me. I dont know why I am depressed in the fast few days. Lonelines, perhaps? Solitude... despair. I wanna run. I wanna escape. I wish I could. This place kinda sucks. Though I'm not complaining, I wish things could be a little differrent. Am I antisocial? and what's wrong with listening to your mp3 player and not talking? I saw a couple sitting in front of me in the shuttle bus this afternoon. I wish I also have one. Exams are coming. I hate exams. Sleep is good. and milk, too. Had some beer two nights ago. It was good. Got one more left in the fridge. But I prefer drinking yakult tonight. I didn't have coffee today, except for one cup I drank at 4 in the morning. Why am I such a slob? Why do I feel comfortable working at night? I hope it rains tomorrow. I love it when it rains. Things tend to be calmer.

Tinatamadakomagsulat.

2005-02-26T03:01:00.000+08:00

Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.Tinatamadakomagsulat. Tinatamadakomagsulat.

Busted_crook is tired and sleepy...

2005-02-16T10:15:00.000+08:00

I just came back from my 8.30 am class so I decided to write an entry. We had a quiz this morning and it went bad. What worries me is the fact that the tutor told as that the finals would be much more difficult than the quiz. If I barely survived that quiz, what would then happen to me in the finals??? I'm sure I'm gonna be a dead chicken again...

I think I'm gonna take a nap first before I go to my 12.30 class. Tatlong oras ang lecure na yun kaya kailangan ay di ako antukin. May reporting din pala kami mamaya sa subject na yun, EM102 - Environmental Management. I don't have to worry about this coz another member of our group will do this for the group. Ngayon naman, baka hindi ako antukin dahil sa kape na ininom ko kanina..

Oh by the way I already bought an mp3 player. Yey! Sana I made the right decision to buy it. Pero at least nasatisfied na ang "wants" ko... ^__^

damn! that mp3 player again...

2005-02-13T22:56:00.000+08:00

Ok, yesterday I thougt I already got over this mp3 player I was talking about. Well today I went to jurong point again to see if it's still there. And again I found myself battling and fighting against my will to spend some amount of money for a crappy piece of mp3 player. But I can't help it. It's like it was there calling me: "Michael... Michael... Come... Come and get me... I know you wanted me..." But sill the "kuripot" me prevailed! And hurray! Have to say goodbye to it once again!!!

Of course, I can't let the day pass by without consoling myself so I went to the grocery and purchased 40 dollars worth of goodies. Isn't it amazing, everytime I wanted to buy something expensive and decided not to buy it, I end up spending a considerate amount of money to buy someting else... And that's me. I can't stop being me. So just carry on and bring out that nets mister!!!

Well that's not the only good thing that happened to me today. I had a wonderful time in the church today. I got there earlier than usual, but still I was late for this bible study that I am supposed to attend. But the point is I'm improving little by little! hehehe

I also met another person in the online friendly site I'm talking about. So anothe friend to me! Cheers!

saturday fiasco

2005-02-13T01:40:00.000+08:00

hey, it's been a long time since I made my last post! well, what else is new? hehe. today is just one of those days that just passed by without you even noticing it. I can partly blame my not-so-adventurous life for this just-another-boring-day, but what can I do? Especially when the only thing I like to do is just slack around. I'm just a big piece of useless slab. But hey, as I've always mentioned, nothing can stop me from doing whatever it is that I want. Except of course if my parents told me not do it, or my sisters, or if it is totally against the Law. And as long as these rules don't apply, I gotta dig it dude(and dudette, for the sake of a person named ivy)

For instance I got bored several days ago and tried one of these "friendster-like" internet stuffs. So I registered, logged-in, posted some of my pics (I can't believe that the admins actually allowed these montrosities...), browsed some users, messaged them and voila, I got new friends! Well technically not friends, but chat buddies or acquaintances. Nah, you know what I mean. So this is basically keeping me busy for several days now, including the occasional studying and reading of lecture notes, watching some downloaded shows, surfing the net, and posting in online forums. woooh, so who say's i'm not busy?? huh? who?

I'm supposed to watch A Very Long Engagment this afternoon, with... um... no one but myself. sweet... It's a French movie. The story is something like this: there is the couple, and got separated by war becoz the guy has to leave and enlist himself in the army. But he didn't return even after the war has ended. Now the girl hoping that her lover is still alive, "insanely" searched for him, going to different place, asking different people, even looking for signs. Basically, that's all I know. So well, the poin is. I didn't go. I didn't watch it. I went to Jurong Point instead and bought a new personal, one cup coffee machine! I was also tempted to buy this cool mp3 player, worth S$140, 256MB, with FM tuner, voice recorder. It's a very good offer, I must say, but it's still 140 dollars you know. Luckily, I had a gripped of myself and decided not to buy. I guess there's still plenty of chances to buy mp3 players.... hmmm... but I really wanted it...really... much.... Ok enough!

I was so excited about my new coffee maker so upon arriving to my hostel immediately made a cup of coffe and boy it was the best coffee ever. I used this coffee beans from the Philippines called "kapeng barako", it's the best coffee around. Really it's the best. If you are a coffee lover you must try this best-tasting coffee in the world. And if you still don't get it, let me say for the last time that this coffee is the best.

Well kinda tired now, even though I didnt do any physicals today. I just ate too much during dinner. And ate some more after. Good Lord! What a nice day!

felt obliged to...

2005-01-30T23:16:00.000+08:00

..make this post. wala lang post lang. i'm just too tired to think of anything. too bad i got loads of stories to tell. well, "ika-nga" there's always a next time.

ICFF 2005

2005-01-27T02:20:00.000+08:00

Nagsimula na kahapon ang International Culture and Food Fest at talaga palang mahirap kapag kaunti lang kayo na nag-aasikaso ng mga bagay na dapat asikasuhin. But just the same we were able to manage and put up a good presentation, a stunning and very colorful booth, and at least had an excuse not to go to class. hehehe

Natuwa ako kasi marami ang nagsabi na maganda daw ang aming performance. Ang ginawa nga pala namin ay nagsayaw ng tinikling! Grabe nakakatuwa yung isang Myanmar guy na nakausap namin. Sabi nya na-eexcite daw sila habang nagsasayaw kami kasi baka daw maipit kami ng kawayan! One of the organizers even said that we should try it again on the 2nd day and teach those people who would like to try it. Diba exciting? Marami ding nag-appreciate sa booth namin. Thanks to ivy, joyce and pam for their artistic touches our booth became presentable. Siyanga pala, dumating din ang Ambassador ng Pilipinas kanina. At siyempre napahanga din namin siya. hehehe

But it's not all fun. Actually I'm a little pissed. And felt sorry for ivy, olan, joyce and myself. Basta feeling ko we didn't get the support we need. Parang napag-iwanan kami sa ere. Tapos may mga tao pa na parang ang dating eh dapat pa kaming magpasalamat dahil "tumutulong" sila in spite of their busy scheds. Haller, I haven't even done anything acad related activities for this week. Worse is we can't even take a good and decent resting time and sleep! Tapos ganito pa ang makikita at mararamdaman mo. Subukan nyo kaya. Tingnan ko lang kung di kayo mainis.

Anyway, naiintindinhan ko naman ang lagay ng mga tao. Of course, studies should come first before anyting else. Pero kung lahat kami ay ganyan ang pilosopiya (at least for this week) makakapag-organize kaya kami ng booth? may mag-aasikaso kaya ng mga dapat asikasuhin. well meron naman siguro, at kaming apat pa rin yun. hay, ganyan siguro talga ang buhay. Wala naman siguro na tayong magagawa. I guess I just have to look more on the bright side and have fun, and enjoy the event and savour the tase of international culture (and cuisine =p) while it's still there.

p.s.

tinatamad akong pumasok sa lab ko mamya. parang di ko at feel na magstay sa lab sa loob ng tatlong oras. should I go or not??? hahahaha

late ako nagising

2005-01-24T10:10:00.000+08:00

Waaaah!!! Late na namana ako nagising. Di na naman ako nakapasok sa AC Cicuits at Economics lecture kanina! Bad Michael, bad... tsk tsk tsk...

tired and more tired

2005-01-24T01:05:00.000+08:00

eto, halos kababalik ko pa lang galing sa practice ng aming presentation para sa Internation Culture and Food Fest na gaganapin na this Wednesday. Grabe, sobrang kakapagod! Buong binti at hita ko yata ay sumasakit.

Bukas simula na naman ng klase at hindi pa rin ako nakakapag-aral. Well I really need to rush-on since I'm behind by 2 tutorials! sa lahat ng subjects to 'pre! Yikes! Promise ko pa naman sa sarili ko na mas magiging seryoso na ko this semester. Pero paano ka ba naman makakapag-concentrate sa pag-aaral if you have to reserve some time for the practice, church, friends, not to mention the most serios culprit of all - the internet...

ang masama pa nito, mukhang tinatamad pa naman akong pumasok at mag-aral. can someone really kick my butt??? hehehe.. para naman magising-gising na ako sa katotohanan noh. that I am here to study, not to slack around, or enjoy life as if I'm in a vacation, or just be a total slug. Dapat maguilty na talaga ako!!! Bwahahaha!!! Hay mikey, matagal ng issue to. Di pa ba ko nagsasawa? Hanggang kailan pa ba magtatagal ang lumang sistema na to??? Tama na! Sobra na! Palitan na! Makibaka! Huwag Matakot! Iskolar ng bayan, ngayon ay lumalaban!!! ploink...

new blog for a new year (well sort-of)

2005-01-23T03:33:00.000+08:00

well for starters, i decided to make another blog since I can no longer access the older one from another server. i really hope this would work and that my laziness won't evercome me.

Anyways, I'll post as soon as I can and hope you'll find my life interesting enough for you to come back and read my posts. That's all for now, I gotta sleep babe... church later in the morning, ciao!